Sociopathic Narcissistic Personality Disorder, an Insidious and Destructive Human Condition not Found in the Cow

You hear many people using the term 'stupid cow' as a metaphor for a stupid woman. Or they refer to a group of people all behaving as one without the intellect to know why -- as acting like a “herd of cows”. But, those words are surely coming from folks who have never really spent much time with a family of cows.

But you never hear anyone liken a narcissistic person to a cow or a bull, or any other animal. Narcissim is a uniquely human trait – a uniquely destructive human trait.

Cows can be quite affectionate with one another, build bonds much like young girls and boys have best friends. They also fight and squabble amongst themselves, and are quite capable of having ground-clearing and skull-ringing battles in the pasture. Once they work it out, they go back to munching grass or stretching out for a little sun and well-earned rest. But for all that capacity for affection and for fighting that is similar to a group of human teenagers, you generally don’t find individual cows who are devious plotters, constantly working out how to get the most from any other cow in their family or social circle.

Each member of my British White herd has particular character traits and behavior that are uniquely their own. Cow family groups are often found grazing together -- the Grandmother, Daughters, and Granddaughters. Most often many traits of the sire and dam in terms of personality and behavior are passed on to their calves, and it's very apparent from birth onward.

Less often, but much more noticeable, is the odd misfit calf born to very good-natured parents that is inexplicably disconnected from kinship with it's family group, and typically much more aggressive about protecting its personal space -- much like a self-absorbed human who perceives their self as more important and more deserving than anyone else, and closes their eyes to the needs of others. The self-absorbed, narcissistic human places others in their family unit who might be useful or harmful to them at a careful and calculated distance -- a human 'flight zone', much like a cow 'flight zone', that is based on how much or how little the misfit human has their needs satisfied from that person, or anticipates needing that person in their short term view of their future.

You can see it in their eyes somehow -- that they just don't have a lot to give of themselves and they like it that way -- and yes I'm referring to the few odd cows and calves I've encountered, as well as the human misfits. The odd bovine misfits won't be found licking the face of their sisters or their mother, hanging out under a tree with their family group, helping with the care-taking of one another just doesn't happen -- unless of course there is personal gain, but a cow doesn't generally hang with another for personal gain, the cow does have its intellectual limits. While they most definitely aren't stupid, they wouldn't conceive of the using or abusing of another fellow cow's emotions as the path to filling their belly with the best the rancher has to offer -- but without a doubt a human narcissistic misfit will.

Cows are quite capable of assessing a fellow family or herd member's illness or agedness; this is apparent in their lack of need to butt heads with some new herd members to determine who shall be the 'alpha' cow in the new mix. They can immediately sense that they have no reason to pursue an argument with the newcomer. That may be due to the newcomer being aged and infirm, or it could be due to the newcomer exhibiting a non-aggressive scent or actions -- but for a fact there is an exchange that either brings on or inhibits any altercations with newcomers to a cow herd.

A few summers ago a very aged cow with a bad hip returned to my herd – 'Old 18' is the moniker I gave her long ago. I had placed Old 18 with a nice family nearby who could keep her in smaller pastures that wouldn't be so hard on her bad hip, and felt confident that this was the best decision to make. For the year or so prior to her placement in this new home, I had kept her with my young heifers or with just one other cow for company in a pasture close to the house, placing her with a small young bull for breeding when she cycled, rather than having her always in the company of a bull or mature cows until bred. And no, that was not inhumane, Old 18 was happiest with a youngster to rear.

Old 18 was brought back to me that summer because she had become too aged to be of value to the typical rancher, and I'd insisted that she never be taken to an auction barn where she would undoubtedly suffer from ill behavior on the part of humans -- and she simply did not deserve that treatment after all her years of service to us humans.

For well over a year, I again found myself in a long term babysit of Old 18. She was quite emaciated upon her return to the ranch, but she put on a decent amount of fat cover to get through the lean days of the following winter. I once again kept her always in a pasture near the house. At the end of every long day I would seek her out and make sure she was okay, that she had not taken a turn for the worse, that she appeared healthy and at enough of a level of ease to enjoy the remainder of her life. It didn’t take much time really to just check and say hi and make sure she was okay.

The days can be long for a rancher; it's not at all a glam pursuit. The days are filled with the more gainful side of one's occupations that support the rearing of cattle, most ranchers are grateful to break even -- and at the close of the day as dusk approaches you take that walk and check on those who may be in need of your attention. Sadly, human narcissistic misfits have so little 'humanity' that they can't be bothered to even take this same amount of time after a long day of work and regularly check on a member of their human family that is increasing in years, is elderly, and in need of their daily care and attention.

My observations of people over the years, and particularly the past several years, is that the odd calf in a herd of cattle that is oddly a misfit with the parents and other siblings, can be found as well in human families -- but what is so insidious and damaging about this human misfit's behaviour in the family unit is that the narcissistic human is so consumed with attaining personal gain or notoriety, and are likely gifted with a higher intellect to pursue that course -- that far too many gentle souls of that family unit are crushed in the course of the misfit's unconscionable, self-absorbed path of gain.

Their self-importance is so great that they can't be bothered to check upon and observe the health of nearby family members that have in their view failed to supply or comply with their wishes -- a Mama cow or her daughter would never be so cold. After Old 18’s return, she had another cow that bonded with her anew and they were often found together keeping one another company. If I had daughters here at the ranch from Old 18, I've no doubt they would be seen regularly at her side, as other family units in my herd are commonly hanging out together. The only daughter born to Old 18 was struck by lightening a few years ago, and she was quite a little beauty and is often remembered, and no doubt would have hung with her Mom in her last years.

Sadly, when it's a human misfit, a narcissistic human misfit, much harm can be done to the entire family unit when one exceedingly malicious person is born into that fold. When it's a cow that is a bad apple, eventually it's seen and accepted as such by us humans, and we let someone else see what they can do with the cow by way of the auction barn, just maybe it would prefer different, or better, digs to call home.

With humans, we can't just dispose of the family member and let someone else try to work through these personal issues -- we can only hope the human misfit will win the lotto and just go away and stop causing such unnecessary pain and distress to the other members of the family unit --or best of all hope they'll surely come to their senses and be that loving and care-giving human that is a reflection of the family unit. Sadly, this generally doesn't prove to happen. Instead, that human misfit continues to cause extreme pain and distress to the vulnerable family members who can't fathom the root of their malice, and can't fathom the depth of their deceits.

But it is not theirs to fathom, it is an anomaly of nature -- much better they all would be not to try to fathom the depths of the odd misfit individual, but to put them aside and go on. But in the daily course of life that realization of one bad apple being a weird anomaly of nature is hard to accept by a human mother, father, or siblings -- painful to work with, and the attempt at acceptance of the misfit puts other loved ones in harms way, drains away their spirit, and takes away their beautiful smile . . . perhaps forever.

With the misfit cow, we let it go elsewhere so it's behavior won't be a daily pain in the rear, won't perhaps influence the behavior of other cows and calves by example. With the misfit human who just doesn't go away, and most likely we don't want to go away because we remain so hopeful of a return of an authentic sense of kindness and care to their character-- we can only hope for strength and endurance of spirit from those who must because of their very love of their mother, father, or siblings remain in a state of hope that the human misfit will find again the clarity and gentleness of spirit of their youth that can be likened to the newborn calf finding it's legs and dashing across the green pastures of the world without an agenda.

But then do we really know they were born with this state of grace? Where does the impact of genetics, be it cow or human, stop -- and something otherworldly, spiritual, and poorly understood begin?

Old 18 died this past Spring. I continued to keep her with my newborn herd, or my weaning youngsters, whichever happened to be in the pasture right by the house where I could keep a close care and eye on her. This pasture has a nice hilltop with a grove of hickory trees. The hilltop provides welcome shade and shelter, as well as an awesome view of the surrounding pine treed rolling hills that go on for miles. This hilltop was Old 18’s favorite spot, and it is there that she died, and it is there that she was buried.

Old 18 was daily checked on, cared for, coddled, so much more than some humans bother to provide to their elderly parents. There was nothing either her death or her continued life would bring to me monetarily. She had no land to leave me, no bank account, no calf on the way, no right to anything. But still, she was the last check of the day. And her desire to be on that hill, to enjoy that view, at the expense of the pain of her bad hip, was respected and accommodated.

The elderly in the USA, whether in Texas or Idaho, whether in Orange County of Texas or California, whether in the City of Vidor, Texas or the City of Las Vegas, Nevada, should be protected by the laws of the land.  Their death by neglect should be prosecuted.  The suspicion of their death by murder should be investigated.  Too often, the death of the elderly are cast aside as unimportant, not worth a second look.  That is a grievous mistake, an unconscionable error.